Battling Weak Dad Energy (and Embracing the Strong)

I’ll be the first to admit: sometimes my “dad energy” is on point, and other times…well, let’s say I look in the mirror and wonder which comedic sitcom father I’m channeling (you know, the ones who always botch the simplest tasks?). Recently, I had one of those less-than-stellar moments. It proved to me that as dads, we really need to take full responsibility for what goes on in our households. And trust me, it’s not about perfection — this is all about progress.

Why I Call It “Weak Dad Energy”

Picture this: my family and I were on a road trip. About a thousand miles to go, so we planned overnight stops at hotels. All seemed well until we began our bedtime routine. I was in the shower, ready to bathe our one-year-old. My wife, Jeannette, was on standby to swap out baby duty with our three-year-old next. Perfect system, right?

What could go wrong? A lot. While holding the freshly-washed baby in the slippery shower, he decided to use my tummy as a trampoline, bouncing around like your cousin’s untrained puppy. And my first gut reaction? I yelled, “Kid c’mon!” in that exasperated tone that basically said, “It’s your fault, baby!”

Yes, you read that correctly. It took my wife saying, “Dude, you’re the adult here,” for me to realize how ridiculous I sounded. My immediate reflex was to blame the baby for literally just doing what one-year-olds do. Now, that’s the epitome of ‘weak dad energy.’ No one got hurt (thank goodness!), but the bigger issue wasn’t whether or not we both slipped — it was my unwillingness to own the situation right away.

Being the Responsible Adult (Even When You Don’t Feel Like One)

Sometimes, I feel like I should just wear a giant sign that reads, “Certified Dad-in-Training,” because that’s honestly how it goes. If my kid had been hurt right then, the blame would still have landed on me, no matter how vigorously he was wiggling around. But in that moment, I instinctively shucked my own responsibility. I tried to pass the blame onto a one-year-old, which is about as logical as trying to reason with a kitchen blender.

All jokes aside, I realized how easily we can shift blame without even noticing. A big part of fatherhood (and adulthood, really) involves stepping up and saying, “Hey, it’s on me no matter what!” It might be your toddler needing constant supervision, or your older kid needing help with homework, or your dog chewing through your mail — it’s about building that mindset where you’re the first line of defense. If something goes sideways, you show up and own it.

Why We’re Never “Done” Learning

I’ve learned that fatherhood isn’t some linear climb where, once you’ve locked in the basics (like changing diapers or singing lullabies), you can coast on autopilot. Not even close. Each milestone your kid crosses changes the game on you — suddenly you’re helping with sports practice or confronting teenage attitudes instead of middle-of-the-night feedings. And each new challenge invites a new opportunity to step up, re-evaluate what kind of father you want to be, and (hopefully) lose the weak dad energy in the process.

From conversations with experienced dads, I know that these challenges never really stop. They might not be about shower slips at age one, but maybe about curfews and broken hearts at 16. The challenge remains: are you going to deflect or own what’s happening in the family?

Enter: The Better Dad Bulletin

This leads me directly to why I started (and continue to build) The Better Dad Bulletin. I wanted a way to organize these lessons, to share them beyond my own circle, and to bring other fathers (and parents in general) along for the ride.

• We focus on practical tools for self-improvement, like building self-awareness, communication skills, and how to stay calm when you want to turn into The Incredible Dad. (edited)

• We talk about ways to stay connected with your partner — because trust me, if I were going to hand out gold medals, my wife would get one every time she points out my “what are you doing?” moments.

• We explore how to develop deeper bonds with our kids — whether they’re still in diapers or rolling their eyes at us in the passenger seat.

Let’s be real: fatherhood can be a daunting role, one where you sometimes feel you didn’t get enough training before being tossed in. That’s exactly why a community of dads — and aspiring dads — can go a long way to keep us from feeling isolated or under-equipped.

Progress Over Perfection: Killing Weak Dad Energy

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that it’s okay not to be “the best dad” by some impossible societal standard. Instead, aim to be a better dad than you were yesterday. You spot a weak moment? Great. Use it as fuel for improvement. The Better Dad Bulletin is here to remind us of that: baby steps (pun intended) turn into bigger changes over time.

But let’s keep it real: fatherhood will stretch you in ways you never anticipated. All the more reason to have each other’s backs, share what works, and build each other up instead of leaving each other fumbling around in the shower trying not to drop the baby…or the ball.

Conclusion

Clearly, I’m still learning. I still have slip-ups where weak dad energy tries to take over, but I’m more keenly aware now. With every challenge — from the baby’s bouncy moves to the moody teenager who’s yet to come — I’m learning to own each situation and lead by example.

So if you find yourself shifting blame to a tiny human who can’t even talk yet, don’t worry, you’re not alone. You just need a little pivot in perspective. Come join us in the Better Dad Bulletin — whether you want to lurk and learn silently or jump in and share your own stories. Together, let’s kill this weak dad energy for good, champion that strong dad vibe, and raise the next generation with more heart, smarts, humor, and resilience than we ever had.

We might not nail it every time, but dammit, we’ll sure make a better attempt tomorrow than we did today!

If this hit home, you’ll love the Better Dad Bulletin — a free weekly newsletter packed with tools, mindset shifts, and encouragement for modern dads who lead with love and purpose.
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