Family, Friendship, and Career: My Conversation With a U.S. Air Force Master Sergeant
I still remember the day my friend Charles Richardson and I first crossed paths in the mid-90s. We were just two kids obsessed with baseball, basketball, and eventually producing terrible beats on Fruity Loops (show of hands, who else cringes at their old Myspace music?). Over the years, we've come a long way—so far, in fact, Charles now sports the title of Master Sergeant in the U.S. Air Force and is currently stationed in Misawa, Japan. While I was figuring out how to even get a class schedule for college, he was gearing up for basic training. Funny how life works.
But a few years ago, I had Charles on my podcast for Episode #11, and we reminisced about everything—our journey from high school sports, all the way to that time I almost forgot you need a passport to fly overseas (yep, real story). We also dug into military life, leadership, and fatherhood. In other words, we covered all the major food groups of personal development.
From High School Dreams to…Ruptured Spleens?
Turns out, Charles initially planned on joining the Army, just like our parents once did. He was so sure of it, he'd already signed the dotted line. Then, one day at a spring football camp, he took a particularly violent hit and ended up rupturing his spleen. And not just "ruptured"—his spleen shattered into six pieces. I still can't decide if that's more tragic or horrifying, but it happened…and for obvious reasons, the Army had to discharge him before he even started.
In an odd and somewhat miraculous twist, though, he landed in the Air Force instead. It's proof that sometimes your biggest setbacks can become your biggest blessings (though please, do not try "rupturing your spleen" as a step-by-step career hack).
First Post: Misawa, Japan (A.K.A. "Where in the World is That?")
Charles got stationed in Misawa, a northern city on the main island of Japan. Naturally, I promised him I'd visit, and sure enough, that became my first-ever trip outside the U.S. Picture me clueless, forgetting I even needed a passport until a couple of weeks before the flight. If that's not living on the edge, I don't know what is.
Once I arrived, the culture shock was instant. Between navigating Tokyo's train system and wandering rooftops on the Fourth of July searching for fireworks that simply don't exist in Japan for USA Independence Day, I had a hilarious awakening. Let's just say you can't always expect the rest of the world to "sparkle" for your American holidays.
Becoming a Drill Sergeant & Leading Thousands
Fast-forward a few years, and Charles took on one of the toughest jobs in San Antonio, Texas: Master Military Training Instructor (MTI). It's basically another way of saying "drill sergeant," but with extra Air Force flair. He spent four years training and shaping new recruits, sometimes working 18-hour days. You know, no big deal—just leading the next generation while chugging enough coffee to single-handedly keep Starbucks in business.
During his first two years, he was hands-on with trainees every eight weeks and oversaw hundreds of them. By the last two years, he stood at the helm of those epic weekly graduation ceremonies. Suddenly, the guy who once wore an old letterman jacket and worried about finishing homework on time was the leader of thousands of future airmen. The moral of the story? High school "coolness" is fleeting, but a passion for leading can last forever.
Family, Sacrifice, and the Wake-Up Call
But the grind didn't come without cost. Charles openly admits that, for a time, he wasn't the best family man. He'd roll home from punishing 18-hour days, collapse on the living room floor, and let his older son literally jump all over his back while he fell asleep. Seriously, that's what "quality time" looked like for a busy drill instructor.
When his second son was born, Charles barely spent more than 30 minutes at the hospital before he had to rush back to base. Talk about "take your child to work day"—he even took his oldest along to a fire alarm drill for new recruits. Imagine being a terrified trainee hearing, "Ignore the five-year-old in the dorm; he's just here for moral support." You can't make this stuff up.
Eventually, he had a wake-up call: one day he'd take off his uniform for good, and it would be his family—no one else—that remained by his side. That realization changed everything for him. We can't get fatherhood perfectly right 24/7, but the key is learning, adjusting, and deciding to be better.
On Cutting Off Toxic Relationships
Our conversation also veered into friendships, specifically the tough calls we sometimes have to make when the bond just…doesn't work anymore. Charles mentioned how, over the past few years, he's let go of some relationships that drained his energy instead of uplifting him. Strength over length, right? Some friendships go back decades, yet they no longer serve who you are now.
I've been in the same boat, taking inventory of who's adding meaning to my life and who's just taking up space. Sure, it might sting to walk away—but short-term pain is often the price for long-term peace. In other words, it's okay to love people from a distance, especially if they've become that random extra sock you find in the dryer. You appreciate the sock, but, well…it's not part of a matching pair anymore.
The Importance of Taking Care of Yourself
As we wrapped up our conversation, Charles gave a piece of advice that really resonated with me: "We're judged by how we help others, but who's taking care of us?" If you're so busy making sure everyone around you wins, you might forget you have a game to play, too. Whether it's therapy, exercise, journaling, or simply finding quiet time, we need to prioritize our own well-being.
I have to remind myself that no one else is going to read my mind, sense my stress, and come flying in with a superhero cape to rescue me from over-commitment. Taking care of yourself is a personal responsibility—a non-negotiable.
Keys to Sustaining Long-Term Friendships
After we ended the show, I couldn't help reflecting on how Charles and I have kept our friendship strong for more than two decades. We're not exactly the same people we were in 1995 (I actually hope I never meet that version of myself ever again), but we've stayed connected by supporting each other's growth—even as our interests evolved and life took us to different corners of the planet. Here's the short version:
• Be honest with yourself (and each other). Trying to force something when the chemistry's long gone is a waste of energy.
• Don't be afraid to let go. Some relationships are meant for a season, and that's okay.
• Show genuine care. Even if it's just a text or call to see how someone's doing.
• Laugh a lot. Life is stressful enough without an occasional dumb pun or silly joke.
Final Takeaway: Seasons Change, People Grow
Maybe you've discovered you're not the same person who wore that ridiculous hairdo from the early 2000s (no regrets, just slightly mortified). People move on, interests shift, and careers evolve. The beauty is that genuine friendships can adapt right alongside you—if you let them. And if a friendship flatlines, remember, it's okay to shift your energy elsewhere.
At the end of our talk, Charles left me inspired to juggling it all—family, personal pursuits, and professional demands—without letting myself or my relationships fall through the cracks. You don't have to be in the military to relate: any of us can find ourselves grinding so hard for a goal that we wake up one day realizing we've been ignoring those who matter most—including ourselves.
So here's to looking in the mirror, making the necessary changes, and cherishing the people who stand by us—and occasionally letting them catapult off our backs when we're too exhausted to move. Because at the end of the day, that's what real friendship (and fatherhood) looks like in action. And honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Until next time—count your blessings, claim your appreciations, and remember to save a piece of that energy for you. Much love!
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