The Power of Community, Curiosity, and Constant Growth

I’ve been fortunate to wear a lot of hats—life coach, golf entertainer, actor, model, proud dad, and unstoppable jiu-jitsu white belt (who gets tossed around more often than he’d like). But at the end of the day, my mission boils down to one thing: helping people realize that the biggest changes in our lives come from continually challenging ourselves and intentionally surrounding ourselves with the right influences. Through all the laughter, failures, and golf balls smashed way past the horizons, I’ve learned some lessons worth sharing. In this post, I want to give you a peek into my mind about mentorship, personal growth, the power of community, and, of course, the joys of being pinned down by a jiu-jitsu black belt.

Embracing the Power of Community

Early on, I discovered that if you want to become a better version of yourself, you can’t do it alone—not successfully, anyway. Whether your goal is to get healthier, start a podcast, or master the art of crocheting neon sweaters, the people you choose to spend time with will determine how quickly you grow.

Want to get fit? Hang out with fit people. There’s nowhere to hide when your buddies drop phrases like, “Let’s skip the elevator and take the stairs,” with bright smiles on their faces. You get that nagging little sense of shame and accountability whenever you pass up that cookie—because you know your buddy can see you reaching for it. And let me tell you: that shame can be a powerful motivator for positive change.

Why Mentors Are Game-Changers

I’ve always believed that mentors come in all shapes and forms. You don’t need a single “perfect” guru; you can learn from different people, each offering unique expertise. Personally, I came to that epiphany the first time I recognized how many of my friends were basically walking encyclopedias of brilliance. One friend taught me how to be a better musician, another inspired me on the business front, and another hammered home the importance of generosity.

If you want to partner up with a mentor, try applying what they’ve already taught in their books, podcasts, or random five-second Instagram videos. Then, share your results with them. That single step shows that you’re more than just a curious passerby—you’re in it for real growth. Mentors love to see proof that you’re not waiting for them to spoon-feed you; you’re already testing the waters and hungry for improvement.

My Unfair Advantage: Finding Your Edge

Everyone has what I like to call an “unfair advantage”—attributes or skills that, when combined, can really set you apart. It might be physical traits (like height) or personality quirks (like unstoppable curiosity, comedic timing, or the ability to chug a 20oz coffee without blinking). For me, it’s often been a blend of the athletic, the theatrical, and the willingness to do stuff that’s half-crazy just to see if it’ll work.

For instance, as a long-drive golfer, I realized, “Wow, people really do want to see me tee off and send golf balls into another zip code—especially if we can raise money for charity in the process.” As soon as that clicked, I combined it with my background in acting. Show up, make people laugh, hit a ball further than they’ve ever seen, and help raise funds for a good cause—all in a single afternoon. That’s the magic of combining your “unfair advantages.” The same principle applies to any skill or talent you have. Just figure out which puzzle pieces make you stand out, and then place them exactly where your community or market needs them most.

Five Skills Everyone Should Develop

Over time, I’ve grown convinced that certain foundational skills make life a whole lot easier. Think of these “five must-haves” as your secret sauce:

(1) Willingness. People ask for shortcuts all the time, but the biggest step is just being willing to show up—even if it’s slightly terrifying. Whether that means going to your first seminar alone, texting a super-fit friend for a workout, or simply deciding you’ve had enough of your own excuses, willingness is the rocket fuel of improvement.

(2) Communication. You can be the smartest, strongest, or most creative person on the planet. But if you don’t know how to articulate your ideas, you’ll stay stuck behind your own silence. Learn the art of conversation—speaking clearly, actively listening, and persuading with empathy. Trust me, no matter how much you think you know, you’ll achieve way more if you can tell the world.

(3) Physical Training. Whether it’s jiu-jitsu, running, or a medieval sword-fighting club, you want to keep your body moving. Not only does physical exercise unlock mental clarity, but it also keeps you ready when life decides to put obstacles in your path. I happen to love jiu-jitsu—maybe not so much when a purple belt is twisting me into a pretzel, but definitely when I’m walking out feeling unstoppable.

(4) Tech Savviness (Especially AI). We live in a technological wonderland, and it’s rapidly advancing. Learn how to leverage AI or any efficient tool in your line of work. Whether you’re an artist, teacher, or entrepreneur, you don’t want to be the one ignoring opportunities while everyone else is building a digital empire.

(5) Embrace Differing Perspectives. In a world that’s always looking for reasons to argue, we need people who say, “Oh, that’s how you see it? Teach me more.” I’ve learned so much by genuinely listening to others—even those who hold completely opposite viewpoints. If anything, it helps me understand where I can find common ground and how to challenge my own opinions.

The Glorious Humbling of Jiu-Jitsu

Speaking of being twisted into a pretzel: jiu-jitsu has been one of the most humbling and liberating activities in my life. I remember my first ever jiu-jitsu session. I walked into the gym, heart pounding, basically thinking, “I’m athletic—I can probably hold my own.” Then, a scary man in the Hells Angels MC, promptly tossed me around like a squeaky dog toy. My pride was damaged, but my curiosity soared. If someone can handle me so easily, I want to learn how.

The complexity of jiu-jitsu is deceptively deep. Even after months (or years) of consistent training, you often feel like an absolute beginner. But it’s that constant challenge that keeps me coming back. I’m always learning, always discovering that there’s someone out there who can put me in an armbar while they casually discuss last night’s TV show.

“Kill Your Clone”: The 30-Day Self-Challenge

Time for an odd question: if you created a clone of yourself today—a perfect, physical and mental copy—could you outdo that clone in only 30 days? I like to call it “Kill Your Clone.” It sounds silly, but it’s actually about prioritizing improvement so heavily that 30 days from now, the new you is so strong, disciplined, or skilled that you’d literally dominate your old self.

This approach works for everything—fitness, relationships, business, communication. Ask yourself: “What do I need to do today, so that in 30 days, I’d completely outperform the old me?” Then put in the reps. Little by little, you pile up small wins, and next thing you know, your old self doesn’t stand a chance.

Protect, Provide, Progress

One of my big passions is helping fellow dads (and really any caretaker) lean into three pillars: protect, provide, progress. If you can protect what you hold dear, provide for those around you, and constantly look for ways to progress, you’ll never be stuck for long. Whether it’s physically protecting them through self-defense, financially providing through your work or business, or emotionally investing in their well-being, I believe wholeheartedly that you can climb any mountain if you keep these three pillars in mind.

The protect portion is especially personal to me. After learning combatives—like jiu-jitsu and self-awareness training—I realized how important it is to be prepared for dangerous scenarios. We can’t put ourselves in a glass bubble our entire lives, but we can develop the mental and physical readiness to handle unexpected challenges. Once you’ve embraced that role of protector, it also elevates how you show up for your loved ones every day.

How to Actually Apply These Lessons

• Start small. Scared of jumping headfirst into that local jiu-jitsu gym? Just walk in and observe a class. Or chat with someone who’s been training for a while.

• Seek mentors. If you can’t reach them in person, devour their free content first—podcasts, YouTube videos, articles. Demonstrate that you’ve tried out their advice.

• Take action daily. Even if it’s just 1% improvement, you’re 1% better than you were the day before.

And of course, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. If you only have time to do 10 push-ups or send one networking email, that’s infinitely better than doing nothing.

Final Thoughts: Changing the World by Changing Yourself

Too often, I see people outraged by world events, or riled up by some debate on social media—convinced that shouting loud enough is going to transform the planet. But if you ask me, the best place to start changing the world is within ourselves. Focus on improving your mind, your body, and then one or two people close to you. You’ll be amazed how fast your little circle ends up making a splash on the larger community.

Because what if you truly “kill your clone?” In 30 days, that’s a better you producing a better environment, forging deeper relationships, and inspiring more people to do the same. Before you know it, you’ve shifted an entire neighborhood’s mindset. Keep that going a few years, and who knows how great the ripple effects might be.

So, keep training, stay open to new perspectives, find your mentors, and climb bigger mountains every day. Remember, if you truly want to do something amazing, be the first in line to try it, be the first to stay late, and be the one who just won’t give up when everyone else does.

Take care, stay curious, and as I like to say—kill your clone (in the most self-improving way possible).

Thank you for reading and for coming along on my journey of random adventures, wild successes, embarrassing failures, and unstoppable personal growth. If you want to share your own “kill your clone” transformation or just send me a pun you’re proud of, I’m always all ears. But just remember—if you challenge me to a long-drive contest, you’d better bring your A-game.

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