Embracing the Waves Freediving Adventures, Aloha Spirit, and Finding Our Tribe

I’ve met a lot of incredible people in my life, but few have made me want to head straight for the ocean armed with a spear gun and a sense of humor quite like surfer and adventurer Jeff Cheney. We first crossed paths through a modeling gig, but as soon as I started talking to Jeff, I knew there was far more depth to him than a glossy magazine photo would ever capture.

From Skater in LA to Diver in Hawaii

Jeff originally grew up in Los Angeles, back when skateboarding videos still came on VHS tapes and the biggest question was which bus (or series of buses) would get him to a decent downtown spot. Eventually, skateboarding gave way to water polo, which then evolved into a love for surfing and freediving. He traded concrete for coral and inflatable pool balls for 10-foot waves. No big deal. Now he calls Hawaii home, and his daily worries are more along the lines of “Will the waves cooperate?” rather than “Will I get stuck in traffic for nine hours?”

It’s funny how your environment shapes you. Back in LA, Jeff found himself competing for space on sidewalks. Today, he’s more concerned about the occasional (somewhat curious) shark that might tail him in the water.

Juggling Spear Guns and Shark Encounters

One of the favorite stories Jeff told me was about spear fishing at Turtle Bay. Picture a calm Hawaii resort, complete with tourists convinced they’ve stepped into paradise. Now add Jeff cruising by with a spear gun, effectively saying, “Morning, fellow hotel patrons. Just gonna gather dinner. Carry on!”

After he snagged a decent fish, he started cleaning it in the water—an all-natural approach, but also an all-you-can-alert buffet for sharks. Cue a curious four- or five-foot predator that decided Jeff’s lunch smelled a little too delicious. Jeff quickly opted for a strategic exit. Some folks might rely on a lifeguard to orchestrate a dramatic rescue, but Jeff’s motto is simple “You gotta save yourself.”

(No, I’m not trying to trigger your fight-or-flight response. But if you do head to Hawaii, maybe leave the fish cleaning for your kitchen?)

City Lessons and Island Living

Before settling in Hawaii, Jeff spent several years in Tokyo, giving him a chance to experience “big city” life—times a thousand. He described Tokyo as an endless concrete maze where everyone’s got somewhere to be, and personal space is often just a legend told by the older generation. To combat the claustrophobia, he doubled down on the gym and discovered jiu-jitsu, turning his city-based restlessness into grappling and rolling. That’s when he realized something crucial, you can find solace anywhere if you’re willing to challenge yourself and build a community out of shared activities.

In contrast, Hawaii’s rugged coastline offers freedom without turnstiles or train delays. Nature just runs the show on Oahu—from the unstoppable ocean swells to the majestic (and yes, sometimes intimidating) marine life. If the water’s rough, you adapt. If you want fish for dinner, you catch it. And if you don’t want a four- or five-foot tiger shark poking around, maybe you don’t broadcast your fish guts in full view.

Aloha Spirit More Than a Greeting

While “aloha” is a word you might see starring in postcards, Jeff insists it’s much deeper than that. It’s about warmth, kindness, and a willingness to greet strangers with the sort of familiarity that says, “We share this space—let’s make it a good one.” Living by the water, he quickly realized surfers aren’t always the carefree poster children we imagine. In fact, many come from tough backgrounds, and the ocean becomes a place of solace and healing. Yet there’s an unspoken code in these lineups if you respect the waves and show genuine kindness to those around you, your tribe finds you quicker than a hungry shark.

I’ll be honest, sometimes, I’m one of those people who wonder if I should say hi or keep my face buried in my phone. Then I remember Jeff’s words about simply smiling, nodding, or offering a friendly greeting. The worst that could happen is someone doesn’t wave back. The best that could happen? A brand-new friend who shares your passion—and maybe a spare wave or two.

“You’re On Your Own”—Why That’s Not Always Bad

Spending a weekend practicing situational awareness and self-defense taught me that real safety is about preparation and personal responsibility. In other words, we shouldn’t just leave it to lifeguards or local authorities. Jeff’s near shark-encounter hammered that lesson home if you’re willing to jump off the tourist lounge chair and into open water, be prepared to handle life’s curveballs. Yes, even when that curveball has rows of razor-sharp teeth.

But the real takeaway from Jeff’s hell-yes approach to adventure isn’t about living in fear or collecting heroic near-miss stories. It’s about standing on your own two feet—on a surfboard or on the beach—and trusting that you can handle whatever nature tosses your way. (Preferably not a rogue wave or a moody grouper, but hey, we can’t control everything.)

Family, Fatherhood, and Growth

As a dad, I’m constantly reminded that I don’t just live for myself anymore. Every choice I make echoes into my family’s life. From showing my kids that sharks aren’t nightmares incarnate, but part of a bigger, beautiful ecosystem, to teaching them how to greet strangers with a kindhearted smile—it’s all part of shaping who they become. And let’s be real I’d rather they learn “Watch your surroundings” from me instead of from a hectic mishap or a trending YouTube reel.

During our conversation, Jeff emphasized how important it is to keep learning. Whether it’s picking up jiu-jitsu or re-learning how to greet neighbors in a world that’s gone digital, growth isn’t about isolated achievements. It’s about continuous exploration and forging deeper connections with others—and that includes an occasional misstep (or losing a band on your spear gun at the worst moment!).

Find Your Tribe by Being You

If there’s one theme Jeff and I kept circling back to, it’s this idea of discovering real community by being your genuine self. When Jeff was in LA, he surrounded himself with fellow skateboarders. In Japan, he sought out jiu-jitsu pals in a sprawling metropolis that threatened to overwhelm him. And in Hawaii, he’s embraced surfers, local fishers, and that easygoing vibe of “Hang loose, but also don’t let your guard down.”

So how do you find people who get it—who want to protect their family, savor the taste of fresh fish, or share stoke over a perfect wave? Start by simply living your life the way you want to live it. Create that vibe yourself, and you’ll find you never have to search too far for like-minded souls. (Or you can always stand shirtless in the middle of a resort with a spear gun and see who says hello first. Your call.)

One Small Step: Say Hello

It all sounds a bit grand, but trust me, the day-to-day is much simpler. If you want to practice this whole “aloha” idea—we can call it “wave therapy for the soul”—start with a quick hello. To your neighbor, the mail carrier, or the person next to you at your favorite coffee spot. The results can be inspiring. Even if that person gives you a weird look, at least you tried. And if they’re up for a chat, well, you just might make a friend for life.

I used to think building community required elaborate events or complicated icebreakers. But I’m learning genuine connection often happens one friendly nod or goofy smile at a time. From fatherhood to freediving, from surf sessions to everyday life, Jeff showed me that forging meaningful bonds in the world doesn’t require elaborate scripts—just an open heart, a little vulnerability, and a willingness to acknowledge the person in front of you.

Final Thoughts

Talking with Jeff Cheney was a great reminder that we don’t need a million-dollar budget or superhuman bravery to create a fulfilling life. We just need curiosity, a respect for nature, and a dash of aloha (yes, even if you’re nowhere near Hawaii). Whether it’s riding waves, traveling the world, or greeting neighbors at sunrise, the key is to bring an authentic version of ourselves wherever we go. The path forward gets forged simply by stepping out, saying hello, and knowing we can handle whatever happens next.

So go ahead—say hi to that stranger, get a little salty in the ocean, and maybe even let a curious fish become dinner (while avoiding any toothy gatecrashers). And above all, keep moving and keep learning, because that’s where the real magic—aloha and all—truly lives.

If this hit home, you’ll love the Better Dad Bulletin — a free weekly newsletter packed with tools, mindset shifts, and encouragement for modern dads who lead with love and purpose.
Subscribe here: Join Better Dad Bulletin

And if you want to wear your values, explore the Dynamic Daddy Store — gear for growth-minded fathers who live loud and love harder.
Shop here: Dynamic Daddy Store